Three characters dominate my thoughts after wrapping up  this week's episodes of One Life to Live.  One is a degenerate psychopath.  One is an idiotic teenage boy. And the final one is a complete and utter moron.

 

A Degenerate Psychopath

Let's start with Todd.  I was appalled by the scene of him picking Marty up in his arms to carry her downstairs.  This is a woman he once raped, who has lost all of her memories.  Correct that, she is not merely the woman he raped, he led and encouraged others in gang-raping her.  He is supposed to have felt tortured by this all these years? Hogwash.  He would never lay a hand on her if that were the case.  I actually felt queasy watching him pick her up.  And then he filled her head with lies by saying how John is responsible for breaking up his marriage to Blair and him losing his kids.  Oh, and then he lied again and told her that she doesn't have any children.  Although who can really blame him for that, because after all, what was the alternative?  He would have had to tell her that her son was dead, or was in prison for raping his daughter, in order to explain why he hadn't brought her son to see her.  What a sacrifice.  That Todd, it must be so tough always putting others ahead of himself.

 

An Idiotic Teenage Boy

Poor Cole.***  Yes, he's in pain from losing both of his parents and thinks he has no one in the world (although that belief is wrong since the degenerate psychopath discussed above is hiding his mother, but I digress).  He thinks it will be so wonderful to have a mini-version of himself and Starr to take care of.   The kid obviously had no idea what it will be like to take care of a baby.  Much less alone if he and Starr are not together.  He thinks he is going to take care of this kid and hold a job?  He's 17 for crying out loud!  I think Starr's choice of Michael and Marcie is ridiculous, and while there is some obvious self-interest in not sacrificing her future, she really is thinking of what is best for the baby.    I can't believe Cole is going to tell Todd next week that Starr is pregnant in hopes of keeping her from giving the baby away.  Does he not remember that Todd almost killed him twice and caused Starr to fall down a flight of stairs.  All sympathy I ever had for Cole is now gone with this stunt he is about to pull.

 

A Complete and Utter Moron

Poor Bo.***  I don't even know what to say. I mean, seriously, the man is such a moron.  I've written about him before and don't know that I can add anything substantive here, but I couldn't write about this week's episodes without mentioning his stupidity.  And of course, Nora will be blamed by everyone for ruining Bo's happiness.  Hello! He was about to marry a woman who killed someone and faked a nervous breakdown to get out of it.  What in the world is Nora supposed to do?  She is the district attorney. Oh, and Lindsay was about to be her son's step-mother.  I was rather surprised at Clint's reaction when Nora told him.  I would have thought he would have taken on the burden of telling Bo privately before the ceremony.  But everyone seems to give Lindsey the benefit of the doubt no matter what.  Poor Bo, poor, poor Bo.***

 

***Please note that when I say "Poor Cole" and "Poor Bo", it is the equivalent of us Texans saying "Bless Your Heart" to someone, which basically mean "You poor thing, you are such an idiot".

How totally awesome was it on Friday's OLTL when Shane yelled out to Adriana, "Hey Ugliana!" and then opened a shaken-up soda can that spewed on her!!!!  Kids can definitely sense a person's true character, and Shane called it as far as Adriana goes a long time ago.  Not ideal behavior from a 10-year old (or anyone for that matter), but he was defending his mom, and it was hysterical!!!

 

And Gigi's line to Adriana:  "Translation please, I don't speak **tch." Fantastic!  And then Brody (in nothing but his underwear, by the way) physically carred Ugliana out of the carriage house.  I've got to say, Brody may not be Mr Upstanding Citizen, but he is pretty stinkin hot!

I’ve read a lot of criticism of Blair’s reaction to Starr’s pregnancy out there on the message boards today and am rather shocked by it.  Many people are saying that Blair was too accepting of the pregnancy and was condoning it.  My response?   What was she supposed to do, yell at her daughter and berate her? 

 

I remember hearing a minister discuss the subject of teen pregnancy during a sermon many years ago.  Keep in mind that this was a very conservative Baptist minister.  He said that if your teenage daughter or son ever comes to you and tells you they are pregnant or have gotten someone pregnant, the only appropriate way to respond is with love and that the way you respond will affect your relationship with them for at least the next 10 years.  Pretty profound.  I’ve never forgotten that statement.

 

Dorian’s response when she thought it was Langston who was pregnant was completely ridiculous.  You may recall a few years back that Adriana was afraid she was pregnant by River.  Dorian’s response then was much more loving.  We could draw a distinction that Adriana is really Dorian’s daughter and Langston is not, but I don’t accept that because Dorian has cared for Langston and loved her and took her in.  I was disappointed with Dorian, who I admit has her issues but usually is there for and takes care of her family.  At least she came around after Langston told her she was acting like Todd.  I also blame Dorian’s response on inconsistent writing.  (However, it was pretty funny when Markko said "Congratulations, Nana!")

 

Now, back to Blair and Starr.  Blair’s response did not seem to me to condone teen pregnancy or teen sex.  At this point, the deed is done.  Ranting and raving serves no purpose except to cause a rift in the relationship.  Plus, there are a number of other points to make in regard to Blair’s reaction:  1) Starr’s already been through so much and Blair knows it; she is lying in a hospital bed, after all; 2) Starr needs at least one reasonable parent and you can rest assured it will not be Todd; and 3) Blair feels horrible that Starr didn’t feel like she could come to her with this.  Also, when Starr asked Blair if she was mad at her, Blair’s response was something along the lines of “This situation is far from ideal.”  While it’s not a tongue-lashing, it does not indicate that she condones teen sex.  She is just supporting a daughter that she knows needs her very much.  I was very touched by their scenes.

 

I’ll write more on it later this week I am sure, but right now I can’t even bring myself to talk about Todd….

I'm a little behind on One Life to Live.  Heck, I'm behind on everything.  My TiVo is pretty backed up.  I think I only have about 40% free space, and I have a huge one with HD capacity.  I am at least 6 or 7 episodes behind on all my soaps.  But that hasn't stopped me from coming up with my latest OLTL theory.  We have known for awhile that Melissa Fumero is leaving the show and we will be bidding adieu to Adriana, who I must say I have come to dislike immensely over the last few months.  I mean, there's nothing wrong with fighting for your man, but she's gotten downright nasty.  (Take a tip from Marshana and Robin, formerly of The Bachelor).

 

My prediction is that Adriana's major personality shift is the result of mental illness.  There has never been a shortage of mental illness on the show, and it runs in the Cramer family.  Addie and Melinda, Dorian's sisters and Adriana's aunts, have been institutionalized most of their lives.  Although I have to admit that if I were going to have a mental illness, I would prefer to follow Viki/Niki and Jess/Tess and go with multiple personality disorder.  But alas, the world is not as I would choose and we cannot pick our mental illnesses.  I think we will witness Adriana have a total break with reality in the weeks to come and be carted off to Addie's old room at Saint Ann's.  Remember, you heard it here first....

Just in case we had forgotten over the past year or so, OLTL gave us a stark reminder this week of what a repugnant human being Todd Manning can be. Any father is going to be mortified to walk into a room and see his 16 year old daughter in bed with a guy, but Todd was insane. I kept waiting for the perfect line to come out of Starr's mouth--"Cole's not a rapist, Dad, that's you." We may not have gotten that line, but the performances this week definitely delivered. Kudos to Blair, who was awesome this week. When Todd looked like he was going to hit Starr, and Blair said "If you ever raise your hand to Starr again, you will never see any of your children again", I literally stood up and cheered. Blair once again proved that, despite all her faults, she will put herself and her own feelings aside and be one incredible mother. Todd, as we know from years of watching him, cannot put himself aside. Yes, he's been a good father who protects his children. But as Starr has grown up, he cannot put himself aside and see that she is growing up and allow it. Imagine how horrifying it would be to be Starr, about to sleep with her long-term boyfriend for the first time, to have her father walk in, beat him and almost kill him on what is supposed to be the best night of her life. The scenes between Blair and Starr were fantastic as Blair tried to be there for her daughter and didn't condascend to her or judge her.

The way Todd talked to Langston was mortifying. Calling her "Little Orphan Annie" and saying that she was jealous of Starr because Starr has parents and hers are dead was downright cruel. A runner-up award goes to Dorian for giving it right back to Todd. I wish she had kicked him out of her house right there, but she does have to think of Blair and the kids.

Another runner-up award to John McBain for going to Cole's defense. Why is no one arresting Todd for assaulting Cole (not to mention Markko)? As Nora pointed out, Starr is at the age of consent in Pennsylvania, so Cole can't be arrested. Yes, John is a cop and shouldn't have decked Todd, but he's honoring Marty's memory by protecting her son and you've gotta love him for that. I think John has to be one of the sexiest guys on daytime.

Hats off to Blair this week, who captures my first award as "Llanview Resident of the Week".